For this assignment, I am supposed to describe, analytically, the major that I am currently in: the Classics, with a focus upon the Latin Language. As far as I’ve experienced it, all that I’ve done in this discourse is, simply, read, translate and discuss various texts written by Latin authors.
That’s, quite literally, all there is; we, as students, receive a text, translate it (in passages; this has to last for at least some part of the semester, you know!), then return to class to discuss what we’ve read. I’ve been doing this since high school, and it’s been pretty consistent; I’ve got a small collection of books containing Latin stories and poetry to prove this! Unlike other disciplines, it seems, we in the Latin discourse of the Classics major do not concern ourselves with academic/scholarly articles: I’ve never had a need for one in any of my past classes. Because of this, I haven’t the slightest inkling as to where I could find them.
So, in lieu of this, I’ve decided to discuss one of the works that I’ve previously translated:
‘Apocolocyntosis Claudii Divi’ (or, in english, ‘The Gourdification of the divine Claudius’)*
The Emperor Claudius, as he most likely looked like in life.
This was written by Lucius Annaeus Seneca**, a prominent author and politician of the early Empire (but best known for being the tutor of the young Emperor Nero (before he went, you know, down the less desirable path)), as a satirical eulogy to the Emperor Claudius.
It starts with, well, Claudius dying, most likely after having been poisoned by his new wife (and cousin) Agrippina the Younger. As he waits in agony for death to take him the god Mercury goes to the three Parcae (Fates- you know, the three goddesses spinning and cutting the strings representing the lives of mortals), reprimanding them for making him suffer. They consent, and quickly cut the emperor’s string. Soon after they return to their looms, and begin to spin a string representing a Golden Age that was supposed to be ushered in by Nero’s succession.
The Parcae/Three Fates. By definition, they were goddesses who spin the threads of mortal lives; their ages vary from myth to myth.
Claudius finally dies, in a rather messy way. Mercury, as the guide of the souls to the afterlife (which is actually one of his duties: I’m not making this up!), takes the Emperor to the heavens, where the gods reside. Jupiter is made aware of him, and, due to Claudius’ many physical disabilities, he sends Hercules to figure out who (and what) he is.*** The strong god has to force the newly-deceased emperor to reveal who he is, and-
(there’s a break in the narrative at this point- at least one or two passages have been lost to time (this is an all-too common occurrence: not all passages survive the passage of time, even if they were copied down during the medieval times; whole books, intact from beginning to end, are fairly rare))
The story picks up at a senatorial gathering of the gods, trying to figure out what to do with Claudius. Should they make him this kind of god, or a different kind? Should they even allow him to be deified at all? In the end, the divine Augustus persuades the assembly not to allow Claudius the glory of deification, and Mercury hauls him off to Hades, where mortals normally go. As they pass by Rome they spy a large gathering of people, most likely celebrating Claudius’ funeral. After a momentary pause to observe the gathering the god resumes dragging the deceased emperor to Hades, where he meets several shades that know Claudius. After some deliberations it is decided that the dead emperor be punished by having to constantly shake a perforated dice-box, chasing after die that constantly elude his grasp, but then the shade of the previous emperor, Gaius Caesar (better known as Caligula), arrives, proposing a better punishment of making Claudius his slave. After presenting some evidence that such a punishment would indeed be cruel, the proposal is passed, and Claudius is made the secretary of his younger nephew.
* discussion of title and what it means is on supplemental page, ‘Gourds and Gods’
** see supplemental page, titled ‘The author, Seneca’, for information of the author of this piece
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